My synopsis of romantic comedy movies.
Typical precursors to girl and guy meeting:
- Neither person is really looking for someone to date
- One person thinks they are happy in another relationship
- One person’s significant other has passed away
- Big life change/adventure
- Coworkers/friends trying to meddle in love life
Guy and girl can meet under any or all the following conditions:
- girl and guy literally bump into each other
- sometimes a set up, but most always a random meeting
- guy notices and/or saves a clumsy girl
- spark at first sight
- some drama/turmoil is typically involved
The relationship evolution (I could write a variety of these, but I think this is one that is very typical in romantic comedies):
- girl and guy have fun at first, but things are left with uncertainty
- girl gets mad at guy for doing something stupid
- what really happens is typically a miscommunication, but girl’s feelings are hurt and she is not willing to listen or work things out easily
- the guy goes out of his way to make things better
- the girl comes around at the end to see things for what they are, and they live happily ever after
I do love romantic comedies, I really do. I’m so happy when people who are meant to be together, find each other against the odds. It’s entertaining and endearing. But I do wonder how much of what we see affects our view of how healthy relationships really develop.
Here are a few themes that I notice in romantic comedies.
- Girl is portrayed as clumsy and inept in some way, only to be saved by guy.
- Girl is portrayed as bitch, only to be more attractive to guy.
- Communication skills between girl and guy are absolutely terrible.
- Girl typically does not like (sometimes hates) guy at first.
- Guy does what he thinks girl wants in order to fix things.
- Most of the movie time is spent in drama versus showing a loving relationship.
Relationship building in a romantic comedy nut shell: Inept. Dislike. Spark of Desire. Mess up. Terrible Communication. Band-aid. Brief Intense Happiness. End of Movie.
I’d like offer some ideas for how healthy relationship building should go:
- Girl and guy are both at a place in their lives where they are interested in and available for a relationship.
- Girl is stable, kind, capable. And so is guy.
- Neither girl nor guy need rescuing.
- Girl likes guy initially, good things don’t tend to grow from bad seeds.
- Girl and guy practice communication skills ~intentions are clear and miscommunication is resolved quickly.
- Girl and guy spend time getting to know each other for a while before deciding on feelings.
- Girl and guy have fun together, and that does not have to include drama.
None of these things would make a good movie I guess.. but would likely lead to happier relationships.