No Thanks, Men

This poem goes out to some men that I’ve encountered over the last 5 years of dating. Sometimes I just can’t believe the ridiculousness of it all. Luckily, I’ve gotten much better over time at weeding these fellows out quickly and painlessly.

Disclaimer: I don’t think all men are like this. I am hoping this poem is the release I need to continue the move in the direction of more fulfilling dating experiences.

Here goes:

No thanks, I don’t want to join you while you pee*

No thanks, I don’t need more alcohol~to make you more interesting than you are

No thanks, I can fix it myself

No thanks, I’m not interested in someone twice my age**

No thanks, I can’t fill the emotional void within you

No thanks, I don’t need your approval

No thanks, I will not give you attention whenever you want it

No thanks, I can drive myself and take myself home~alone.

No thanks, spoiled egotistical asshole.

*I am being facetious here, God willing.

**How selfish are you?

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