I’m tired of scrolling through social media and feeling not up to par with everyone else. Most of the time I am happy for others and the joy in their lives. Today, I’m kind of over it. Not over others being happy, just over wasting time soaking in others’ lives, instead of living my own life in that moment.
I am thankful for my friends and for connections with others, but I truly do not get any real joy from scrolling. Sometimes I might get an idea of something I want to do or laugh at a funny animal video. I am somewhat happy to see that a high school friend is having yet another child 😉 All okay, just not fulfilling. Yet this is the way of life. This is how people stay connected. This IS what most people do, right?
So my experiment this week is to take a break from it all. I am on spring break, having a staycation. For a while I have wanted to try a silent retreat, but decided that I could have my own silent retreat for FREE!
I’ve told a few people that I want a silent retreat for the week and I have not really gotten the supportive reactions I assumed I would get. It’s more like, hmmm that sounds boring, or no reaction at all, or so I guess that means you don’t want to hang out? Etc. Makes me wonder again, am I crazy for feeling like this would be beneficial? Is this something that only completely burned out people would think of?
Regardless, I’m looking forward to the experience. It’s so easy to get distracted by others’ requests, needs, dramas, etc. I feel like I have neglected to truly listen to what I need and want. With the pace of our society and the work load that never seems to end, it feels like an impossible task sometimes to let go of it all and hone in on what is next for me. The world will overwhelm you, if you aren’t very careful.
I’m an introvert and talking is not my preferred mode of communicating anyways, so I’m pretty certain that I will not struggle with keeping quiet this week.
By not talking, by not scrolling social media, I hope to accomplish the following things~
-limited input from others
-time and space for deep reflection
-permission to not care too much
-mental rest and clarity
-focus on next steps/plans
As I write my broad goals for the week of quiet, I feel like I must find a way to honor these needs on a more regular basis. But for now, I’m excited to give this a try and see what I learn.