A Love Affair with Mugs

mugs

If I had to pick a “thing” that brings me great pleasure, it’s ceramics, more specifically, mugs.

I think they are so lovely to look at and hold.  I feel grounded when I hold a mug that was crafted by a local artisan. One that is not perfectly shaped, but fits the contours of my hands and fingers.  I breathe a little easier, heart beats a little slower ~ my hands were made to hold this life giving vessel.

uiiiiiiii8 (Miles, my cat, contributed this part)

When I am out and about, I am drawn to mugs.  I can’t help but notice their beauty.  Each one has its own history and uniqueness.  They tug at my heart, but I am reminded that I don’t really need any more.

What is this heart tug about?  I know that I have plenty of beautiful mugs.  I know that I will acquire more once I donate ones I no longer want.  But the heart knows what it needs and wants.  It seems to be about this feeling of staying connected to the earth.   

I don’t feel this way about many other “things”.  I certainly don’t breathe easier when I am holding my cell phone.  In fact, my hands tend to cramp up or fall asleep.  I find this difference quite telling about what my body knows it needs.

Whether it is an actual “thing” or something abstract, I’m going to keep listening to what my body is drawn to and what makes it happiest, and I hope you will to!!

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Extended Quiet

I’m tired of scrolling through social media and feeling not up to par with everyone else. Most of the time I am happy for others and the joy in their lives. Today, I’m kind of over it. Not over others being happy, just over wasting time soaking in others’ lives, instead of living my own life in that moment.

I am thankful for my friends and for connections with others, but I truly do not get any real joy from scrolling. Sometimes I might get an idea of something I want to do or laugh at a funny animal video. I am somewhat happy to see that a high school friend is having yet another child 😉 All okay, just not fulfilling. Yet this is the way of life. This is how people stay connected. This IS what most people do, right?

So my experiment this week is to take a break from it all. I am on spring break, having a staycation. For a while I have wanted to try a silent retreat, but decided that I could have my own silent retreat for FREE!

I’ve told a few people that I want a silent retreat for the week and I have not really gotten the supportive reactions I assumed I would get. It’s more like, hmmm that sounds boring, or no reaction at all, or so I guess that means you don’t want to hang out? Etc. Makes me wonder again, am I crazy for feeling like this would be beneficial? Is this something that only completely burned out people would think of?

Regardless, I’m looking forward to the experience. It’s so easy to get distracted by others’ requests, needs, dramas, etc. I feel like I have neglected to truly listen to what I need and want. With the pace of our society and the work load that never seems to end, it feels like an impossible task sometimes to let go of it all and hone in on what is next for me. The world will overwhelm you, if you aren’t very careful.

I’m an introvert and talking is not my preferred mode of communicating anyways, so I’m pretty certain that I will not struggle with keeping quiet this week.

By not talking, by not scrolling social media, I hope to accomplish the following things~

-better sleep

-limited input from others

-time and space for deep reflection

-permission to not care too much

-mental rest and clarity

-focus on next steps/plans

As I write my broad goals for the week of quiet, I feel like I must find a way to honor these needs on a more regular basis. But for now, I’m excited to give this a try and see what I learn.

Desire

I’m back at peace now–

But for days, what seemed like years, I felt I needed this “thing”.

This desire felt so strong, and I was certain that this would be the next step.

It would definitely propel me to increased happiness and fulfillment.

However, this excitement transformed into a strong wave of anxiety that was about to engulf me.

Which is how I knew this couldn’t be decided now, not because I was giving into fear,

but because in that moment I realized that I am truly at peace with what already is.

The wave receded, for I knew that I didn’t need anything else.

I gave myself the opportunity to explore this desire, and listened when my soul said, I am full.

Becoming Unstuck

As I drove home from work today, completely exhausted (the pollen isn’t helping things), a smirk of delight and of peace came across my face “I can’t wait to write this evening”~ I said to myself, for the first time with no hesitation at all (i.e. it will actually happen this time, NOTHING will take it’s place).  So here I am.  I’ve been thinking about doing more writing for a while now.  Like…years.   “I love writing, I should do more of it” ~ “I really think that I should figure out a way to get writing into my life” ~”I want to write, but there is NO WAY I’m going to wake up earlier than I normally do”~ “I have so much to say, but people probably already know about things I want to share” <—– this thought right here is the thing I realized has held me back the most.

I not exactly sure where this assumption originated, but I’m thankful that I was finally able to hear it, get a really good look at it, then transform it.  I realized today that my insights are like none other (I could mentally say this before today, but at my core it still didn’t feel true until now), and that many people will truly benefit from them. Yay me, for getting unstuck.

I have a bit of a commute to work, and sometimes this is beneficial for time for productive thinking and other times it turns into unproductive thinking loops.  Today was the former kind of commute.  One of my first thoughts this morning was, how you do anything, is how you do everything.   My old way of thinking tells me you have probably heard this quote, but the new way says, perhaps not.  I love this quote and remind myself of it frequently.  (If you happen to know the origin of it, let me know 🙂

If how I do anything is how I do everything, then I was adhered like gorilla glue.  If I am stuck with writing, then I’m stuck with everything.  If I’m stuck with something that I am passionate about, then I’m stuck with all things I’m passionate about.  And that’s not how I want to live my life.

Here’s to reminding oneself that it is of utmost importance to listen to what you truly want and are passionate about ~ stop the second guessing, and procrastination. If you are stuck, figure out what assumptions are holding you back, and work on ridding yourself of them.

I’ve generally thought of myself as a free spirit kind of person, go with the flow, and all that jazz.  But you know, now I know that wasn’t really the case.   It won’t be until I unstick all that needs to be free.   But today how I did anything, was how I did everything and that was all kinds of freedom.

I’m hopeful that this will work for you too.